I'm still having a problem with realistic expectations. Never mind that back in *cough* Jr. High *cough* when I was my most athletic, I couldn't do a pull-up. I'm still disappointed that after 9 weeks, I haven't managed one (even with a band). Never mind, that I weigh 'a bit' more than the fit girls at my gym that have no problem doing pull-ups. And considering that pull-ups are a body weight exercise, I would have to work harder to get that pull-up even if I was as strong as them.
Oh... I think I found my problem.
I love those girls at my gym. But I might be relating to that Jr. High version of myself more than I realized when I first started typing.
I want to be in their cool club. No, they aren't excluding me. In fact, they are very welcoming. And if the cool girls at your gym aren't welcoming, you are at the wrong gym.
But they are strong and fast and smart. All the things I strive to be. They look good in the compression pants. And can wear the short shorts without fear. Even their haphazard pony tails are cute. And they don't turn bright red as they exercise. They perspire. I sweat buckets.
I know I sound crazy. I haven't been in Jr. High in decades. (Yes, with an 's'.) I know not to compare myself with those ladies. But it's so hard to get out of my brain that way. It leads to a bunch of 'ifs'.
If I lost weight, then I'd be stronger.
If I was stronger, I'd be faster.
If I was thinner, stronger and faster, then I'd be happy.
Wait. What?
I am happy. I love my life. I have a great husband and wonderful kids. I enjoy my friends. And above all I am blessed and favored by God. And all of that has nothing to do with being thin, strong or fast. So why when I start comparing myself to others, suddenly I don't feel happy.
Somedays all the logic in the world can't talk me out of the slump. I know those women have struggles too. And that the reason they are thinner, stronger and faster than me is because they work hard and have worked hard way longer than me. So by that logic, if I continue to work hard, then I'll be thinner, stronger, and faster. But when I'm in a slump, I don't want to work hard.
It's a cycle. And I could very easily let it get the best of me. I could give up.
I have given up in the past. I know how easy it is to quit. But I wont. I'm going to work on my Jr. High thinking and make my own cool club. And while I don't know that I'll ever stop comparing myself to other people, I'm going to try to remember they are just normal people too with struggles and faults just like me. And that nothing worth working for is easy.
I'm going to be the best me and not a copy of someone else.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Diet isn't a four letter word
This is a rant. Bear with me.
I get so tired of hearing about diets. Or people talking about being on a diet. Or asking if I'm on a diet. Diet, diet, diet.
No. The Whole 30 isn't a 'diet'. Yes, the Whole 30 is a diet.
At my homeschool table, the word diet is used when we talk about what animals eat. Mr. Panda isn't 'on a diet' when he eats bamboo. His diet is bamboo. Diet means what you eat.
Eating healthy isn't the same as "being on a diet". Just because the general population of America is so used to take-out and fast food, that doesn't mean that people that aren't constantly eating take-out and fast food are doing something extraordinary.
In fact, labeling something "a diet" is setting yourself up for failure. Eventually, you will choose something that isn't on your plan. Enter guilt. We'll you've blow breakfast, might as well do what you want the rest of the day. And two weeks later that diet is nothing but a distant memory.
Instead, choose to eat healthier (whatever you decide that means for you).
Eating healthier isn't a quick fix. It isn't a band-aid weight loss plan. It's taking control of what you put in your mouth. It's your diet. Not you being on a diet.
Oddly enough when you eat healthier, you will lose weight. Not at a rate to win The Biggest Loser. But when you aren't only eating junk, your body will change. The less junk you eat, the faster your body will change. And if you listen to your body you will learn what foods to fuel it with to get the best results. (I have a lot of opinions about this, but I'll save them for another time.)
Eating healthy foods is my diet. No, I'm not 'on a diet'.
This also means if you see me in public and I'm eating junk. I know. Because I'm not 'on a diet'. I am free to choose what I want. I'm not accountable to any one fad.
Still for the next few weeks I'm going to do the Whole 30 challenge (note: challenge, not diet). It's my way of listening to my body and seeing what foods fuel it the best. Will I be perfect? I haven't been so far. But that's part of it being a challenge. If it were easy it wouldn't be called a challenge. Do I wish I would make different choices? Sure. I'd like to be perfect at everything I do. But I know I'm not perfect. And I don't expect anyone else to be.
I will always talk about how people make mistakes. I make mistakes. If you take away nothing else from my blog, I want everyone to realize, it's okay to make mistakes. You just pick up right where you are and move forward. Every time you make a mistake, you learn.
At this rate, I should be a genius by now. HA!
I get so tired of hearing about diets. Or people talking about being on a diet. Or asking if I'm on a diet. Diet, diet, diet.
No. The Whole 30 isn't a 'diet'. Yes, the Whole 30 is a diet.
At my homeschool table, the word diet is used when we talk about what animals eat. Mr. Panda isn't 'on a diet' when he eats bamboo. His diet is bamboo. Diet means what you eat.
Eating healthy isn't the same as "being on a diet". Just because the general population of America is so used to take-out and fast food, that doesn't mean that people that aren't constantly eating take-out and fast food are doing something extraordinary.
In fact, labeling something "a diet" is setting yourself up for failure. Eventually, you will choose something that isn't on your plan. Enter guilt. We'll you've blow breakfast, might as well do what you want the rest of the day. And two weeks later that diet is nothing but a distant memory.
Instead, choose to eat healthier (whatever you decide that means for you).
Eating healthier isn't a quick fix. It isn't a band-aid weight loss plan. It's taking control of what you put in your mouth. It's your diet. Not you being on a diet.
Oddly enough when you eat healthier, you will lose weight. Not at a rate to win The Biggest Loser. But when you aren't only eating junk, your body will change. The less junk you eat, the faster your body will change. And if you listen to your body you will learn what foods to fuel it with to get the best results. (I have a lot of opinions about this, but I'll save them for another time.)
Eating healthy foods is my diet. No, I'm not 'on a diet'.
This also means if you see me in public and I'm eating junk. I know. Because I'm not 'on a diet'. I am free to choose what I want. I'm not accountable to any one fad.
Still for the next few weeks I'm going to do the Whole 30 challenge (note: challenge, not diet). It's my way of listening to my body and seeing what foods fuel it the best. Will I be perfect? I haven't been so far. But that's part of it being a challenge. If it were easy it wouldn't be called a challenge. Do I wish I would make different choices? Sure. I'd like to be perfect at everything I do. But I know I'm not perfect. And I don't expect anyone else to be.
I will always talk about how people make mistakes. I make mistakes. If you take away nothing else from my blog, I want everyone to realize, it's okay to make mistakes. You just pick up right where you are and move forward. Every time you make a mistake, you learn.
At this rate, I should be a genius by now. HA!
Friday, April 20, 2012
A Bonus to Being the New Girl
There is a bonus to being the new girl (or guy) at your gym. So if you are worried about drawing attention to yourself, don't. As I've posted about before here, even the biggest people at the gym have a role to play. They inspire as much, if not more, than the super athletic types, because they are very obviously putting it all on the line. The same is true for all new people.
And that's the bonus, the super athletic types see that and give you tons of encouragement. Not the 'bro' kind that sounds like, "Hey, Slacker, you can do more than that!" (Always said in the friendly teasing way, at a good gym.) But the "You are doing awesome! Keep it up!"
That's the bonus to being new. You don't get teased. And while there is something to being there long enough to get to the teasing stage. It's really nice to have the heartfelt encouragement that comes with being new. Maybe that's what keeps people coming back. It certainly doesn't hurt my feelings for people to tell me how great I am.
After the first few times, I actually started to believe them.
So if you are ever feeling down about yourself or feel insecure. Get yourself to the nearest Crossfit box. It can turn a bad day around.
I'm still not the strongest or fastest. But I'll be damned if I don't feel like it by the time I leave.
No Crossfit near you? Join any class. Spin, Zumba, Jazzercise, whatever. Exercising on your own is great and healthy. But there is something about suffering with others that just makes it so much better. And no one cares what shape you are in, and if they do, find a better class. There is a fit for you somewhere.
The encouragement you get from working hard and doing something for yourself is better than any end of day glass of wine or whatever you use to come to terms with your stressful day.
After all, you are awesome. Isn't it time everyone started telling you so?
And that's the bonus, the super athletic types see that and give you tons of encouragement. Not the 'bro' kind that sounds like, "Hey, Slacker, you can do more than that!" (Always said in the friendly teasing way, at a good gym.) But the "You are doing awesome! Keep it up!"
That's the bonus to being new. You don't get teased. And while there is something to being there long enough to get to the teasing stage. It's really nice to have the heartfelt encouragement that comes with being new. Maybe that's what keeps people coming back. It certainly doesn't hurt my feelings for people to tell me how great I am.
After the first few times, I actually started to believe them.
So if you are ever feeling down about yourself or feel insecure. Get yourself to the nearest Crossfit box. It can turn a bad day around.
I'm still not the strongest or fastest. But I'll be damned if I don't feel like it by the time I leave.
No Crossfit near you? Join any class. Spin, Zumba, Jazzercise, whatever. Exercising on your own is great and healthy. But there is something about suffering with others that just makes it so much better. And no one cares what shape you are in, and if they do, find a better class. There is a fit for you somewhere.
The encouragement you get from working hard and doing something for yourself is better than any end of day glass of wine or whatever you use to come to terms with your stressful day.
After all, you are awesome. Isn't it time everyone started telling you so?
Thursday, April 19, 2012
In a Funk
Bleh. I don't know what it is. The weather has been pleasant. Nothing big has changed in my schedule. My post-baby hormones seem about as constant as they have been. But whatever it is, I'm in a funk. Maybe it's the fact that my back is still a little tender. It's getting better, but it's still slowing me down. Maybe, that's it. Who knows. But the point is, I'm moody.
I'm not "Get Out of My Way!" moody. But just easily annoyed moody. And I know everyone else in my house is starting to feed off of it.
Funny how just one person can bring down everyone around them.
Sometimes it's slow, like it has been this week. Everyday everyone is just a bit more touchy than the day before.
Sometimes you are in such a bad mood that you just have to look at someone and they are soured for the rest of the day too.
Why is it that bad moods travel better than good ones?
There have been days when just being around someone happy has made me happy. And sometimes it sticks and sometimes it only lasts a moment.
But a bad mood is like a cold, it just lingers around and the next thing you know all your friends have it too.
Well, I don't know about you guys, but I hate being in a bad mood. I like my friends and family too much. And it isn't so much about them putting up with me. But I'd like to keep liking them and it gets trying when they are in a bad mood. Know what I mean?
So to end the vicious cycle of funk, I have to start with me. Bleh. That sounds like such a pain. But I suppose it isn't nearly as bad as listening to my kids bicker.
My plan: Fake it, til I make it.
I will pretend to be the happiest most patient person ever. And eventually I wont be pretending anymore.
Practice until I'm good at something? Wow, that's a novel concept. And it works for moods as well as behaviors.
I'm not "Get Out of My Way!" moody. But just easily annoyed moody. And I know everyone else in my house is starting to feed off of it.
Funny how just one person can bring down everyone around them.
Sometimes it's slow, like it has been this week. Everyday everyone is just a bit more touchy than the day before.
Why is it that bad moods travel better than good ones?
There have been days when just being around someone happy has made me happy. And sometimes it sticks and sometimes it only lasts a moment.
But a bad mood is like a cold, it just lingers around and the next thing you know all your friends have it too.
Well, I don't know about you guys, but I hate being in a bad mood. I like my friends and family too much. And it isn't so much about them putting up with me. But I'd like to keep liking them and it gets trying when they are in a bad mood. Know what I mean?
So to end the vicious cycle of funk, I have to start with me. Bleh. That sounds like such a pain. But I suppose it isn't nearly as bad as listening to my kids bicker.
My plan: Fake it, til I make it.
I will pretend to be the happiest most patient person ever. And eventually I wont be pretending anymore.
Practice until I'm good at something? Wow, that's a novel concept. And it works for moods as well as behaviors.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
But I just CAN'T give up bread?!
I have this conversation a lot:
Them: So what is Paleo?
Me: *insert party line about eating like a caveman and clean foods*
Them: So I'd have to give up bread and cheese?! That sounds great, but I just CAN'T give up bread.
Me: *polite smile*
Well, just so you know, you CAN give up bread. You are just choosing not to.
There are a lot of things in life that just happen. But what you pick up with your hand and put in your mouth is completely up to you. No excuses. You have no choice but to own that fact.
I have no choice but to own that fact.
So that said, let me introduce you to my Paleo Wagon. Aint she a beaut.
The ride is bumpy as hell. I fall off all the time. But luckily, I'm not racing. I go slow so when I fall off I have time to dust myself off before I hop back on.
That's really what it's all about. It isn't about if you can give up bread, because you can. It's about making the decision to dust yourself off and get on the wagon.
I can give you all kinds of science about the evils of grains and dairy. And about how soy shouldn't be a food. But you can research that all on your own.
In the end you are going to decide if you want to make a change for yourself or not. When you do (See, I said when, I'll convince you eventually.), I want you to know it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Somedays are really easy. Sometimes it's plain ol' hard. Mistakes happen. But it isn't a race, you'll have plenty of time to dust off and get back at it.
Steak with a side of broccoli and carrots? Paleo
Pulled chicken on a giant bed of leafy greens? Paleo
Bacon with a side of bacon? Paleo
4 scrambled eggs and two pieces of sausage? My lunch!
Now, if I have you convinced, there are some great resources in my side bar there. Click away and learn all you can.
If you still think you just can't give up bread or cheese then how about try for a balanced diet. You know, like adding in the rest of the food in the breakfast cereal commercial. After all, grainy-o's and skim milk is not a balanced meal, even the commercial says so. Get out your fancy new First Lady good plate and fill it up appropriately. That means barely more than a 1/5th of your meal should be a grain.
Plate of spaghetti? Not balanced.
Whole grain bagel with low-fat strawberry cream cheese? Not balanced.
Turkey sandwich from Subway? Not balanced.
(Funny how those companies pushing their products would really like you to think otherwise.)
If you really want to see a difference in your waist, your mood, and your energy level. Clean up your diet. It's as simple as that. Go Paleo for 30 days. Join my Whole 30. Do Mark's 30 Day Challenge.
Them: So what is Paleo?
Me: *insert party line about eating like a caveman and clean foods*
Them: So I'd have to give up bread and cheese?! That sounds great, but I just CAN'T give up bread.
Me: *polite smile*
Well, just so you know, you CAN give up bread. You are just choosing not to.
There are a lot of things in life that just happen. But what you pick up with your hand and put in your mouth is completely up to you. No excuses. You have no choice but to own that fact.
I have no choice but to own that fact.
 |
| This photo of Inn at Narrow Passage is courtesy of TripAdvisor |
The ride is bumpy as hell. I fall off all the time. But luckily, I'm not racing. I go slow so when I fall off I have time to dust myself off before I hop back on.
That's really what it's all about. It isn't about if you can give up bread, because you can. It's about making the decision to dust yourself off and get on the wagon.
I can give you all kinds of science about the evils of grains and dairy. And about how soy shouldn't be a food. But you can research that all on your own.
In the end you are going to decide if you want to make a change for yourself or not. When you do (See, I said when, I'll convince you eventually.), I want you to know it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Somedays are really easy. Sometimes it's plain ol' hard. Mistakes happen. But it isn't a race, you'll have plenty of time to dust off and get back at it.
Steak with a side of broccoli and carrots? Paleo
Pulled chicken on a giant bed of leafy greens? Paleo
Bacon with a side of bacon? Paleo
4 scrambled eggs and two pieces of sausage? My lunch!
Now, if I have you convinced, there are some great resources in my side bar there. Click away and learn all you can.
If you still think you just can't give up bread or cheese then how about try for a balanced diet. You know, like adding in the rest of the food in the breakfast cereal commercial. After all, grainy-o's and skim milk is not a balanced meal, even the commercial says so. Get out your fancy new First Lady good plate and fill it up appropriately. That means barely more than a 1/5th of your meal should be a grain.
Plate of spaghetti? Not balanced.
Whole grain bagel with low-fat strawberry cream cheese? Not balanced.
Turkey sandwich from Subway? Not balanced.
(Funny how those companies pushing their products would really like you to think otherwise.)
If you really want to see a difference in your waist, your mood, and your energy level. Clean up your diet. It's as simple as that. Go Paleo for 30 days. Join my Whole 30. Do Mark's 30 Day Challenge.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Pain in the...
(Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. I am not a doctor. If you have back pain (or pain of any kind), go see your doctor.)
I hurt my back last week. I can't exactly pin point what I did. But I have a few things that could lead up to it.
Monday, I'd done ONE BILLION squats and kettlebell swings. Okay. Fine. I'm exaggerating. 100 squats. 106 kettlebell swings. My hamstrings were mad at me for days. And according to Google, tight hamstrings can lead to lower back pain. But my back didn't hurt until...
Enter Thursday, Sumo Deadlift High Pulls (video). My first work-out with those. Not my favorite thing. It's awkward. At least, I'm really awkward at it. And while I know I was careful about my form on the pull, I'm not really sure I was solid getting the weight back to the floor for my tap and go.
It was Thursday evening I noticed my back was sore. And Friday, I skipped Crossfit to rest it.
But I couldn't pass up Saturday. Snatches! (video)
In case you haven't heard, I really really like to lift heavy things. Some people wouldn't consider them as heavy as I do. But it's still loads of fun.
My back was still a little tight. I did what I could to stretch it out. And I started lighter than I might have otherwise. And, drumroll, it didn't hurt at all. AMAZING. I was so nervous that I wasn't going to be able to lift anymore. I didn't even have a twinge at any point in my lifts. WOO!
Then it came time for a cash-out (ie, the work-out after the work-out). It was a run. Casual, on your own kind of thing. I was the only one in my class to do it. I didn't get far. I mean, I hate running to start with. It was kinda why I decided to do it even when no one else was. I want to get better.
But *insert bad words here* it hurt!
Lesson I learned: Even if you are hurt, there are ways to stay active and get fit. It might not be what you are used to or your favorite thing to do. You might have to scale back (in my case no running and lighter weights). But it's not an excuse to give up.
I hurt my back last week. I can't exactly pin point what I did. But I have a few things that could lead up to it.
Enter Thursday, Sumo Deadlift High Pulls (video). My first work-out with those. Not my favorite thing. It's awkward. At least, I'm really awkward at it. And while I know I was careful about my form on the pull, I'm not really sure I was solid getting the weight back to the floor for my tap and go.
It was Thursday evening I noticed my back was sore. And Friday, I skipped Crossfit to rest it.
But I couldn't pass up Saturday. Snatches! (video)
In case you haven't heard, I really really like to lift heavy things. Some people wouldn't consider them as heavy as I do. But it's still loads of fun.
My back was still a little tight. I did what I could to stretch it out. And I started lighter than I might have otherwise. And, drumroll, it didn't hurt at all. AMAZING. I was so nervous that I wasn't going to be able to lift anymore. I didn't even have a twinge at any point in my lifts. WOO!
Then it came time for a cash-out (ie, the work-out after the work-out). It was a run. Casual, on your own kind of thing. I was the only one in my class to do it. I didn't get far. I mean, I hate running to start with. It was kinda why I decided to do it even when no one else was. I want to get better.
But *insert bad words here* it hurt!
Lesson I learned: Even if you are hurt, there are ways to stay active and get fit. It might not be what you are used to or your favorite thing to do. You might have to scale back (in my case no running and lighter weights). But it's not an excuse to give up.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Whole 30: Take Two
So my Whole 30 quickly turned into a Half 30 then went downhill into a, well at least I'm not eating out every other day anymore.
*head shake*
I make the excuse that my diet is better than most people's. I mean all those people that pick the worst foods from all the worst fast food places everyday... I eat better than them. And I don't do dairy (casein intolerance for me and the baby) and very little gluten, so I'm steps ahead of most Americans... right?
It doesn't matter when the scale isn't moving, despite all the new exercising I'm doing.
Oh, I hear ya. But muscle weighs more than fat!
Um, well a pound is a pound. I don't need my son's homeschool kindergarten math book to teach me that. And the fact remains I still have entirely too many pounds to lose to be playing the muscle vs fat card.
Yes, my body is changing shape and I can squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans now. So yahoo! (The muffin top is something to behold though.)
But here's the thing, those used to be my fat jeans. And I would like them to be my 'before' jeans. You know the ones where people pose in front of a door and hold their old fat jeans in front of them and take a picture to show how they aren't fat anymore.
So I have some work to do.
Here's the plan. Some ladies from my gym said they started a Whole 30 yesterday. I said I'd restart today. Done and done.
The fine print:
1. I will not allow myself to give one slip or slide as an excuse to blow the whole thing.
2. Eating out is not an excuse to eat bread. (Bread makes you bloated and being bloated makes you feel like you've blown it.)
3. Feeling like I've blown it? refer to #1.
Anyone else want in? I'd love to have someone to complain with. Especially around day 3 when the 'low carb flu' sets in. You have to agree to the rules in the fine print (and the rest of the Whole 30 for that matter). But anything is do able for 30 days!
*head shake*
I make the excuse that my diet is better than most people's. I mean all those people that pick the worst foods from all the worst fast food places everyday... I eat better than them. And I don't do dairy (casein intolerance for me and the baby) and very little gluten, so I'm steps ahead of most Americans... right?
It doesn't matter when the scale isn't moving, despite all the new exercising I'm doing.
Oh, I hear ya. But muscle weighs more than fat!
Um, well a pound is a pound. I don't need my son's homeschool kindergarten math book to teach me that. And the fact remains I still have entirely too many pounds to lose to be playing the muscle vs fat card.
Yes, my body is changing shape and I can squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans now. So yahoo! (The muffin top is something to behold though.)
But here's the thing, those used to be my fat jeans. And I would like them to be my 'before' jeans. You know the ones where people pose in front of a door and hold their old fat jeans in front of them and take a picture to show how they aren't fat anymore.
So I have some work to do.
Here's the plan. Some ladies from my gym said they started a Whole 30 yesterday. I said I'd restart today. Done and done.
The fine print:
1. I will not allow myself to give one slip or slide as an excuse to blow the whole thing.
2. Eating out is not an excuse to eat bread. (Bread makes you bloated and being bloated makes you feel like you've blown it.)
3. Feeling like I've blown it? refer to #1.
Anyone else want in? I'd love to have someone to complain with. Especially around day 3 when the 'low carb flu' sets in. You have to agree to the rules in the fine print (and the rest of the Whole 30 for that matter). But anything is do able for 30 days!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Get Real
It's important to have realistic expectations.
I don't.
When I stop to listen to myself as I complain to my husband, I realize I'm being ridiculous. But in my head, it makes perfect sense to be disappointed that I might not have improved my 1 rep max clean (how you get the bar off the ground and to your shoulders) in just 10 days.
See, I thought I had only tied my personal record. And when I left the gym, I was sad. Never mind, that it'd only been 10 days. There was a good chance I was going to be pouty at least the rest of the night, if not all the next day as well.
So I started talking out the weight I had on the bar. And come to find out, I had set a PR by 10 lbs. WOO! I perked right up. Best day ever!
And then my husband saw fit to remind me that I needed to have realistic expectations. I mean, only 10 days had gone by. So what if I only tied my personal record. It's 10 lbs. And I still set a personal record doing a jerk (a particular way to lift the bar above your head). But I wasn't even focused on that. I was too busy being pouty.
It's one of those things that happens when people are trying to get fit or lose weight. I know I've been on a weight loss journey all my life, it seems. It doesn't matter that it took me over 9 months to put on all the pregnancy weight. As soon as that baby is out, every mom is wishing they didn't eat all those saltine crackers and gallons of ice cream.
Why can't we just go to sleep one night and wake up in our pre-pregnancy bodies?
No? It doesn't work that way?
I hate having to have realistic expectations.
When a week goes by and I haven't lost any weight, that pizza sure is a lot harder to turn down. After all, I'm not making any progress. Why not? Right?
Oh, because the next week, if I say no and stay strong I might lose 2 lbs? Yeah, it happens. Of course, I've had the week were I thought I did great and gained a pound. Isn't that a kick in the pants when you worked so hard to turn down crap food? Sounds like a box of donuts kind of day.
Not any more.
I'm working on my realistic expectations.
Some days are up and some whole weeks are down. It's not an excuse to blow it anymore.
I'm going to miss that excuse. But I wont miss the yo-yoing or the disappointment in myself.
My goal: To Get Real.
I don't.
When I stop to listen to myself as I complain to my husband, I realize I'm being ridiculous. But in my head, it makes perfect sense to be disappointed that I might not have improved my 1 rep max clean (how you get the bar off the ground and to your shoulders) in just 10 days.
See, I thought I had only tied my personal record. And when I left the gym, I was sad. Never mind, that it'd only been 10 days. There was a good chance I was going to be pouty at least the rest of the night, if not all the next day as well.
So I started talking out the weight I had on the bar. And come to find out, I had set a PR by 10 lbs. WOO! I perked right up. Best day ever!
And then my husband saw fit to remind me that I needed to have realistic expectations. I mean, only 10 days had gone by. So what if I only tied my personal record. It's 10 lbs. And I still set a personal record doing a jerk (a particular way to lift the bar above your head). But I wasn't even focused on that. I was too busy being pouty.
It's one of those things that happens when people are trying to get fit or lose weight. I know I've been on a weight loss journey all my life, it seems. It doesn't matter that it took me over 9 months to put on all the pregnancy weight. As soon as that baby is out, every mom is wishing they didn't eat all those saltine crackers and gallons of ice cream.
Why can't we just go to sleep one night and wake up in our pre-pregnancy bodies?
No? It doesn't work that way?
I hate having to have realistic expectations.
When a week goes by and I haven't lost any weight, that pizza sure is a lot harder to turn down. After all, I'm not making any progress. Why not? Right?
Oh, because the next week, if I say no and stay strong I might lose 2 lbs? Yeah, it happens. Of course, I've had the week were I thought I did great and gained a pound. Isn't that a kick in the pants when you worked so hard to turn down crap food? Sounds like a box of donuts kind of day.
Not any more.
I'm working on my realistic expectations.
Some days are up and some whole weeks are down. It's not an excuse to blow it anymore.
I'm going to miss that excuse. But I wont miss the yo-yoing or the disappointment in myself.
My goal: To Get Real.
Monday, April 9, 2012
More about Inspiration
So, my post about not feeling very inspiring was, also, inspiring.
Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments. I was both absolutely touched and completely embarrassed that I'd managed to draw so much attention to myself.
I mean, I know writing a blog that people are going to read it. And I know that by sharing it on my Facebook page that people I know will probably read it. I'm cool with that. I wouldn't put anything on the internet that I didn't want the entire world to know. In fact, I think it would rock if people all over read my blog. It'd be as close as I will ever get to famous.
But at the same time, WOW! I didn't expect such a strong response. You guys are really great. I have an awesome support system.
Yesterday, I finished a 5k. It wasn't a fancy race 5k. It was the up and down my street until my neighbors thought I was crazy 5k. My husband called it my first annual Easter 5k. ... we'll see.
It took me almost an hour. I stopped in the middle to get something to drink and recover a bit. I certainly didn't run the whole time. I wanted to quit... often. I tried to talk myself into quitting.
Ha! I tried to talk myself into quitting. There was a time a few weeks ago when I would have tried to talk myself into starting and wouldn't have bothered. And yesterday, I tried to talk myself into quitting and I didn't. That's a big step. (Of course, the 5k was a big step.)
I didn't quit because I knew all you guys would be behind me, even though you weren't physically there.
And I didn't quit because I knew I could do it.
I've been doing Crossfit for 8 weeks today. I'm way more in shape than I have been in years. Even when I was 50 lbs lighter, I wouldn't have made the 5k while still breathing. Not once did I have to walk because I was out of breath. I had to walk because my body was tired.
Okay, fine, I'll admit it. I gave into the walking way more than I would have if you all had been there with me. That's why Crossfit is a class. You push a lot harder when someone else is pushing hard too. And when you think you just don't have anything else to give, someone will give you a shout out reminding you that you can do it and not to give up. And then there is some special magic with those words that does manage to give you more strength. I can't explain it. It's something you have to experience.
Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments. I was both absolutely touched and completely embarrassed that I'd managed to draw so much attention to myself.
I mean, I know writing a blog that people are going to read it. And I know that by sharing it on my Facebook page that people I know will probably read it. I'm cool with that. I wouldn't put anything on the internet that I didn't want the entire world to know. In fact, I think it would rock if people all over read my blog. It'd be as close as I will ever get to famous.
But at the same time, WOW! I didn't expect such a strong response. You guys are really great. I have an awesome support system.
It took me almost an hour. I stopped in the middle to get something to drink and recover a bit. I certainly didn't run the whole time. I wanted to quit... often. I tried to talk myself into quitting.
Ha! I tried to talk myself into quitting. There was a time a few weeks ago when I would have tried to talk myself into starting and wouldn't have bothered. And yesterday, I tried to talk myself into quitting and I didn't. That's a big step. (Of course, the 5k was a big step.)
I didn't quit because I knew all you guys would be behind me, even though you weren't physically there.
And I didn't quit because I knew I could do it.
I've been doing Crossfit for 8 weeks today. I'm way more in shape than I have been in years. Even when I was 50 lbs lighter, I wouldn't have made the 5k while still breathing. Not once did I have to walk because I was out of breath. I had to walk because my body was tired.
Okay, fine, I'll admit it. I gave into the walking way more than I would have if you all had been there with me. That's why Crossfit is a class. You push a lot harder when someone else is pushing hard too. And when you think you just don't have anything else to give, someone will give you a shout out reminding you that you can do it and not to give up. And then there is some special magic with those words that does manage to give you more strength. I can't explain it. It's something you have to experience.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Sunday Share
Apparently the thing for bloggers to do on the weekend is to share what other bloggers are writing about. It's like a break from blogging or something. I don't really blog enough to need a break. But I have read some things this week I'd like to share.
The House that Stumptuous Built
My favorite quote, "All are welcome in this house that strength built." (But I should warn you that 'grown-up' vocabulary is used."
A Metaphor in Real Time
It's about giving yourself permission to feel negative emotions. And how once you confront them, they go away.
The Best Almond Flour Cinnamon Rolls
I'm not usually down with 'Paleo-fying' food. (If you are going to "cheat", just cheat and call it what it is.) But when you have kids that can't have dairy or gluten, sometimes you do these things for them. I haven't tried these yet, but dang they look tasty.
The House that Stumptuous Built
My favorite quote, "All are welcome in this house that strength built." (But I should warn you that 'grown-up' vocabulary is used."
A Metaphor in Real Time
It's about giving yourself permission to feel negative emotions. And how once you confront them, they go away.
The Best Almond Flour Cinnamon Rolls
I'm not usually down with 'Paleo-fying' food. (If you are going to "cheat", just cheat and call it what it is.) But when you have kids that can't have dairy or gluten, sometimes you do these things for them. I haven't tried these yet, but dang they look tasty.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Inspiration
I mean me?
Who knew.
Apparently all my talk about exercising and getting healthy has struck a cord with a few of my family and friends. That's nice. I like that other people are getting in shape. Although I have to admit, I don't feel very inspiring.
I still mostly see where I fall short. I'm certainly not the fastest or strongest at my gym. In fact, I'm often the slowest and weakest. My choice is to scale enough that I can finish with everyone else or potentially be at the gym all night finishing the work out. I'm not too proud to scale. In fact, I often have to just to be able to do the movements. I see that has a short coming. But I'm told others see the fact that I'm out there working my ass off as inspiration.
I'm about to post a video that a friend took. This video makes me cry.
The first time I watched it, I was horrified. All I saw was the big girl on the row machine. I was embarrassed at how my body looked. My hair is stringy and you can see my rolls under my bra straps. I cried.
I made myself watch it again and again. In fact, this video was taken weeks ago. I've watched it a lot. I still cry. But not for the same reasons.
See, what I didn't see the first time? All those guys sitting around me. They are the fastest and strongest. They do the workout Rx (which means they don't have to scale it down to make it through). Some of them had only ever seen me for the first time that day.
They are cheering for me. They are telling me, I can do it. And giving advice about how to make it through.
They didn't care that I'm not among the elite. Or that I had fat rolls showing. Or the fact that my face is probably beet red from exertion. They only care that I'm doing it. Then I cry because I'm touched. (I'm a cryer. I'm just glad I haven't actually done it at the gym. That'd be embarrassing.)
I remember that WOD. It was a 2k row for time. It's not the kind of WOD that's scalable. But, I actually like to row. I'd watched videos earlier that day to learn techniques to be efficient. I knew going in I was probably going to be the last one finished. We rowed in heats. I was in the last heat. I was nervous because I knew that everyone was going to be finished and they'd all be waiting on me. I knew I was going to be in the spotlight. It made me feel very uncomfortable... before I started. But once I was on the row machine. Honestly, all I could think about was finishing the job. I remember when the guy on the far side of me sat down next to me started talking me through the last few minutes. I don't remember when David finished and started cheering for me. Or when my Coach showed up with his encouragements. And I had no idea about the group that had gathered behind me to cheer me on. I didn't know about them until I saw the video. And obviously, I had no idea my friend was taking video.
All I could think about at the time was how many more pulls on that rope would get me off the machine. It was hard. I never once thought about giving up. There was a moment where I thought about slowing down. That's when people started cheering around me. The last 100m were the fastest I'd rowed the whole time.
And that's how Crossfit works. That's why it's better as a class. Alone, I might have quit before I made the whole 2k. I certainly would have slowed down. I was last, but no one cared. My form was getting sloppy, but no one judged. And when I finished everyone around me erupted in cheers as if I'd just won a race.
It might not have been as hard for those guys as it was for me. But it was hard, and I did it.
I'm a stay at home mom to three young kids. Just making time to go to the gym is hard.
Apparently just doing something hard is inspiring. Who knew.
Who knew.
Apparently all my talk about exercising and getting healthy has struck a cord with a few of my family and friends. That's nice. I like that other people are getting in shape. Although I have to admit, I don't feel very inspiring.
I still mostly see where I fall short. I'm certainly not the fastest or strongest at my gym. In fact, I'm often the slowest and weakest. My choice is to scale enough that I can finish with everyone else or potentially be at the gym all night finishing the work out. I'm not too proud to scale. In fact, I often have to just to be able to do the movements. I see that has a short coming. But I'm told others see the fact that I'm out there working my ass off as inspiration.
I'm about to post a video that a friend took. This video makes me cry.
The first time I watched it, I was horrified. All I saw was the big girl on the row machine. I was embarrassed at how my body looked. My hair is stringy and you can see my rolls under my bra straps. I cried.
I made myself watch it again and again. In fact, this video was taken weeks ago. I've watched it a lot. I still cry. But not for the same reasons.
See, what I didn't see the first time? All those guys sitting around me. They are the fastest and strongest. They do the workout Rx (which means they don't have to scale it down to make it through). Some of them had only ever seen me for the first time that day.
They are cheering for me. They are telling me, I can do it. And giving advice about how to make it through.
They didn't care that I'm not among the elite. Or that I had fat rolls showing. Or the fact that my face is probably beet red from exertion. They only care that I'm doing it. Then I cry because I'm touched. (I'm a cryer. I'm just glad I haven't actually done it at the gym. That'd be embarrassing.)
I remember that WOD. It was a 2k row for time. It's not the kind of WOD that's scalable. But, I actually like to row. I'd watched videos earlier that day to learn techniques to be efficient. I knew going in I was probably going to be the last one finished. We rowed in heats. I was in the last heat. I was nervous because I knew that everyone was going to be finished and they'd all be waiting on me. I knew I was going to be in the spotlight. It made me feel very uncomfortable... before I started. But once I was on the row machine. Honestly, all I could think about was finishing the job. I remember when the guy on the far side of me sat down next to me started talking me through the last few minutes. I don't remember when David finished and started cheering for me. Or when my Coach showed up with his encouragements. And I had no idea about the group that had gathered behind me to cheer me on. I didn't know about them until I saw the video. And obviously, I had no idea my friend was taking video.
All I could think about at the time was how many more pulls on that rope would get me off the machine. It was hard. I never once thought about giving up. There was a moment where I thought about slowing down. That's when people started cheering around me. The last 100m were the fastest I'd rowed the whole time.
And that's how Crossfit works. That's why it's better as a class. Alone, I might have quit before I made the whole 2k. I certainly would have slowed down. I was last, but no one cared. My form was getting sloppy, but no one judged. And when I finished everyone around me erupted in cheers as if I'd just won a race.
It might not have been as hard for those guys as it was for me. But it was hard, and I did it.
I'm a stay at home mom to three young kids. Just making time to go to the gym is hard.
Apparently just doing something hard is inspiring. Who knew.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Do Hard Things
One of my favorite blogs is a family blog called 71 Toes. They have nothing to do with Crossfit or weight loss. But they have a family 'rule' (theme?... philosophy) that rings true with me: Do Hard Things. From the moment I first read that, it fit. And I stole it. I use it with my kids. And I apply it to my life. It means take on the challenge and don't give up.
Do Hard Things.
Crossfit (or any exercise routine) would fall into that plan. Making time for it is always a challenge. Then there is the workout itself. Hard sometimes is too light a word.
And I think that's part of why I like it. It's hard. And when I've survived, I can't help but be proud of myself.
On another note: I would have made a hell of a lifter in high school. (I don't even know if my little high school had a lifting team.) But I really like lifting heavy things. And while I'm not a competitor yet, I know with more practice and training, I will be.
Do Hard Things.
Crossfit (or any exercise routine) would fall into that plan. Making time for it is always a challenge. Then there is the workout itself. Hard sometimes is too light a word.
And I think that's part of why I like it. It's hard. And when I've survived, I can't help but be proud of myself.
On another note: I would have made a hell of a lifter in high school. (I don't even know if my little high school had a lifting team.) But I really like lifting heavy things. And while I'm not a competitor yet, I know with more practice and training, I will be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)